


Empty Words

by dilhowlter



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-02
Updated: 2014-10-27
Packaged: 2018-02-19 15:09:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2392895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dilhowlter/pseuds/dilhowlter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is living the high life of a popular sixteen year old. Best friends with the mot desirable guy in the school, invited to every event, king of kings, until one night, he inadvertently changed lives. And his guilt is killing him. Will he risk it all, turn in his friends for an unknown victim? Will he allow himself to lose the life he's living?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Before

**Author's Note:**

  * For [potatoesarenotforsex](https://archiveofourown.org/users/potatoesarenotforsex/gifts).



> A.N  
> Hello my lovelies! <3  
> Okay, this is REALLY IMPORTANT (!!!), so I'll have to ask you to quickly read this. THE PLOT IS A VARIATION OF AN ACTUAL BOOK. This is my version of slamming them together into a big phan ball of amazing.  
> The plot, is loosely based (adding some similar scenes) off the book "Speechless", buy the amazing Hannah Harrington. I basically worship this book, and Phan. So this is me paying homage to both of them :)  
> So in short:  
> I don't own Dan and Phil (that would be slavery....)  
> I own my own writing, but have borrowed some themes from the book Speechless, so I guess I don't own them either  
> Sorry for just verbally hydropumping on you, but THAT NEEDED TO BE PUT OUT THERE!  
> Hope you enjoy, I will try and write it all at once, but if not, it will be updated REALLY QUICKLY :D  
> Dil Pickle :3

I have never been so excited, but close to throwing up on my own shoes than I am right now. Here I am, Daniel Howell, sixteen years old, and sitting next to the girl, who could quite possibly be my soulmate. Rebecca Starling. At least if she noticed me. But here I am, sandwiched between her, and my best friend, Kyle Evans, who is currently wrapped around his girlfriend Jess, and Becky, who is downing another vodka shot. God, I never thought someone could look so beautiful, but here she is, proving me wrong. It's no secret that Kyle throws the best parties. Parents who are regularly out of town, an older brother who doesn't mind supplying minors with alcohol, state of the art stereo system, and basically the best damn house in Manchester.  
I was awoken from the slightly disbelieving state I was in, that /this/ was my life, by my phone buzzing. Kyle leans over to me.  
"Everyone worth knowing is here. Who the hell is calling you?"  
I check the caller ID. The word "MUM" flashes like it's mocking me. Great, Dan.  
"Er...It's my mum. She'll be so pissed if I don't answer." I hoped Becky didn't hear me. I didn't want her to know I'm the kind of loser who need permission from their parents to do anything.  
"Then answer it, bro!"  
I gave him a look to say are-you-bloody-insane?! "  
"And let her hear /this/?" Kyle rolls his eyes.  
"Fine, then /don't/ answer it. Jesus christ, I'm getting more beer." He pulls himself off the couch and makes his way to the water cooler. Sometimes Kyle can be a real dick. I guess if we weren't best friends, I'd hate him.  
I'm suddenly aware that Becca has moved closer to me, putting her hand around my forearm, and leaning her glossy lips close to my ear.  
"Hey," Her breath is warm against my ear. She's doused in a musky perfume, and smells of too much beer. It's kind of disappointing. I always thought such a beautiful girl would smell of summer and the delicate perfume of flowers. "It'll be quieter for you in the hall." She gives me a cute little smile. It's the obvious answer, but my brain is still struggling to catch up with the situation. It seems if I'm in a two metre radius of Becky, I lose the ability to function. Admittedly, the last couple of shots weren't helping. I stumbled off the couch, and pass a bunch of scantily clothed girls thrashing to some pop remix, and don't stop until I've reached the end of the hallway. I quickly dodge into the first room I see - Kyle's bedroom. Still through the walls, you could hear the thudding of the bass. I pulled myself into his closet, which thankfully blocked most of the noise, and pulled out my phone. Three missed calls. Crap. I quickly punched her name in, and leant against the wall. Balance was a tricky concept at the moment. After a couple of rings, she picked up.  
"Daniel! Why didn't you pick up earlier?"  
I was only here under the cover of helping Kyle look after his little brothers. After my last report card, I had gotten a major grounding. Yeah, like I was going to need geometry anyway. So if they knew what was really happening, a D- wouldn't be such a big deal.  
"Oh uh, sorry. My phone was on silent. Y'know, looking after the kids." I tried to use a joking tone.  
"Uh huh," I couldn't tell if I was paranoid, or she just didn't buy the story. "So I was just wondering if you could pick up sone eggs tomorrow morning."  
I had to finish this call - fast. Before someone blows my cover.  
"Yeah, okay. Eggs. On it." I wince as something crashed in the hallway.  
"What was that?"  
I answer as quickly as possible.  
"Oh, probably just one of the boys. Maybe sweets after dinner wasn't a good idea." I let out a forced laugh, hoping it didn't sound too nervous.  
"Okay," She sounds so oblivious that I'm guilty for a second. Then relieved that she buys my story. "Just make sure you get the milk. Bye, sweetie." I quickly punch end. Thank god that's over. I rake my fingers through my hair, cursing genetics. I had wrestled with my straightener for hours this morning, but it had already gone back to it's horrible curly mess. I sigh, and pull the closet open, making my way back downstairs. 

\-------------------------------  
By the time I return, Kyle and Jessica are completely wrapped around each other. I can tell that most of the room is staring in envy. Jessica is beautiful, blonde, skinny in all the right places, and Kyla, star of the football team, enough stubble to make himself older than he is, no shortage of muscles. Standing next to him is always a hit to the self esteem. I involuntarily scan the room for Rebecca. There she is, next to a table laden with snacks, being chatted up by some sleaze. I make my way up there, and manage to stand just in front of her, pretending to be in desperate need of crisps.  
"Hey, leave some for the rest of us will you, fatty." I recognise the sleaze now. Cooper Adams, notorious for trying to hook up with as many girls as possible before end of school. Well, if he thinks Becky will be another notch in his belt, he better think again.  
"I see someone left the doors open," I mutter. I look at his sour expression. "What, did your mum get in the family caravan, and the wheels broke?" He glared at me for a second, struggling for an insult.  
"Faggot..." He turned and made his way into the crowd. I look back at Becky.  
"That wasn't very nice..." His voice is full of disapproval. There seems to be only one solution. More alcohol.  
Well, they don't call it liquid courage for nothing!

\-------------------------  
Who knew that this much alcohol could make you feel so messed up, leave the room spinning if you move, but also so euphoric. Well, I was really feeling it now. Kyle made his way over, and clapped his hand on my back.  
"You drunk yet, Danny boy?"  
Yes. Very, apparently. Suddenly, I feel my stomach heave. I stop and clutch my stomach. My nausea must be obvious, because Jessica dances away from me.  
"Ew, if you puke on me, I am going to be sooo pissed."  
"I'm fine," I insist. "Just...bathroom. Bathroom would be good." I stumble past a couple making out across the steps, and up to thd bathroom. There's a line of bored looking people outside. I can't take that risk.  
There's another bathroom, not too far away, in the guest room. I push open the door, and make my way in. I freeze.  
This room is already occupied. By two people. Two boys. I've never seen two guys so...entangled. There's the familiar sound of jeans being unzipped amongst moans, as the dark haired boy threads his hands through the light haired boys. I gasp, and stumble backwards. The blonde boy pulls his head up, his eyes like a deer in headlights. I recognise him. Kirt Clifford. I used to have french with him. I run before he can speak. I make my way to the kitchen. This place will be trashed tomorrow. It looks like half the student body is searching the cupboards.  
"Kyle!" Okay, that was louder than I meant to be. Everyone seemed to turn to me. Becky put down her drink. Cupboards were closed. "You won't /believe/ what I just saw. 

I don't know what I expected to happen. Maybe I thought it would be funny. I could swoop in and give my first hand account. Maybe I thought it'd impress Becky. Whatever.  
I didn't expect their reaction. Kyle looked like I had said his guest room was full of corpses.  
"Ew! That. Is. Disgusting" Jessica shrieked. I looked around at the looks of mingled horror and disgust.  
"Whatthehell?" Slurred one a member of fthe football team, Ryan.  
"That shit's screwed up." Spits one of hos friends. "I'n gonna..." I don't think that sentence is going to end with give him a hug. Warrick is about as articulate as he is affectionate.  
"We need to teach those fags a lesson." Ryan made his way for the living room. I grabbed his shoulder, stopping him.  
"Look, they're leaving now." I spotted them weaving through the crowd to the door. The dark haired boy seemed nonchalant, his fingers wrapped around Kurt's.  
"They holdings hands and everything. Shit!" Warrick spat into his empty cup, so many levels of disgusting. They made their way to the door. It was easier to just let them go.


	2. I Swear Mornings Hate Me

Hangovers suck. I don't remember much more about last night. I do remember my plans have a memorable New Years kiss with Becky was abruptly thwarted, as my nausea caught up with me, and I was closer to making out with the toilet. The same one I find myself wrapped around. I must have passed out soon after that. As I gather myself up, rubbing my sore hip, I try to piece together the party. Yes, I remember Warrick and Ryan leaving. I remember being convinced to have just another couple of shots, even though I was so drunk I could barely stand. I squeezed my temple, as if trying to extract the throbbing in my head. I hadn't been so drunk that I couldn't remember it the day afterwards before. It came back to me slowly, along with my routine. Splash my face. Dancing on a table, and falling into a pile of teenage girls. Try scrub the lingering taste of alcohol from my mouth. Trying to ride on Kyle's back, and falling down the stairs. Stumble down stairs. Becky....oh god Becky. I'm pretty sure I completely freaked her out.   
"Yeah man," Kyle confirmed, sliding the paracetamol across the table. "You kept on rubbing up against her, and telling her that her hair was like a waterfall of placentas." I groaned, and downed the tablets. I silently cursed Kyle for not stepping in. Too busy getting a kick out of the situation I guess.   
"Oh, by the way, did you see Ryan or Warrick at all? They totally bailed," I shook my head, trying ignore the pounding against my ears. He was right though. Neither had returned last night. "I bet they were out hot boxing their truck or bashing up letterboxes or some shit-" Kyle's phone buzzed against the counter. What was usually a fairly pleasant bloop, was transformed in my hungover state into the apocalypse, in an alert. I pressed my palm into my forehead, grimacing. God, this was going to be a long morning.   
"Tell me this isn't just some bullshit?!" I looked up. Kyle had a look of mingled horror and disbelief. I strained my ears to eavesdrop. Kyle nodded a lot.  
"Uh huh...yeah....Jesus Christ...okay....look, I'll figure out something....yeah, I won't say anything..." He tapped his phone, and put it on the bench.  
"Kurt Clifford is in the hospital." I had a feeling like someone had shoved their fist into my gut. I stuttered for a bit.   
"What....Kurt...." My eyes widened in realisation. "Did Ryan and Warrick...." Kyle stayed silent, but his grim look told me all I needed to know. I covered my mouth with one hand.   
"Oh my god....oh my god....they said they were just going to /talk/ to him!" Even as the words leave my mouth, I realise how stupid I was.   
"You can't say anything," His voice has a careful edge to it.   
"What! But-"  
"Nothing. Not one damn word. Got it?" I could tell he wasn't screwing around. "Anyone asks, you don't know."  
My mind is a warped mess. Would they really do such a thing. As much as I try, I just can't wrap my head around it.   
"Yeah. I got it."

 

\-------------------------------------------

I can't do it. I just can't. I can't rat out one of our own. My friends. My best friend wants me to pretend that they put a boy in hospital for Christ's sake! I pump the radio as loud as possible, but I just can't escape my thoughts. I grip the steering wheel tighter. I can't just let this go. This isn't just some little thing. This is my fault.  
I inadvertently put a boy in hospital.  
If I hadn't been drinking, I wouldn't have needed a bathroom. But also if I hadn't been drinking, I wouldn't have told Kyle in front of everyone.   
I can't hand them in though. They're my friends. Everyone would hate me. I would be alone. But Kurt didn't deserve this.  
He didn't deserve my stupidity.

I can smell Mum's cooking something as I come in. Dad come as ruffles my hair, like he has for the last sixteen years.   
"How was your night kiddo?" He mumble some reply.   
"Did you remember the milk?" Mum calls from the kitchen. Shit. She takes my silence as an answer. "I ask you to do one little thing and yo-"  
"Christ, I forgot. Sorry." I can't deal with this right now. Mum makes her way into the lounge room, hands on hips. Before she can speak, Dad swoops in. Always the peacemaker.  
"It's okay. I can do a grocery run." He winks at me, and presses a kiss to my head. I hold my breath. Hopefully the five mouthwashes, and illegal amount of Kyle's cologne was enough to mask any lingering alcohol. It must be, because he doesn't comment. Once I'm at my room, I throw myself onto the bed. I pull a pillow from the head, and stuff it over my head, trying to drown out the thoughts that are screaming, trying to tear their way out of my skull. Before I'm fully aware of it, there is a small damp patch under my face. I pull myself up. Every time I blink, the look in Kurt's eyes is tattooed on the back of my eyelids, pleading me. Pleading me to do what? Don't say anything? To leave? To leave him alone? I wonder if that's the look he had when he got the shit kicked out of him. Why does it have to be my job to rat them out. There were plenty of people at the party. They saw what happened in the kitchen. I can play dumb.  
But what if no one speaks up. What if they get away with it. If that happens, can I live with myself?  
I already know the answer to that. 

The walk downstairs is like the march to my execution. My parents are watching TV in the living room.   
"Mum?" I try to squash the waver out of my voice. "Dad?"   
They twist around, their looks mirrors of confusion and worry. Mum mutes the TV. "What's wrong, honey?"  
I take a deep breath, clenching my fists.  
Now or never, Dan.  
"I have something I need to tell you."


	3. SO MANY APOLOGIES ;___;

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I AM SUCH A BAD PERSON I AM SO SORRY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM LITERALLY HORRIBLE

Hello my lovelies! I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE I won't leave this hanging c:  
BUT I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY WITH SCHOOLLLL  
But yea, this WON'T GET LEFT HANGING  
I have the whole plot already, but yea I just need to write it hahahahahahahadontkillme  
LOVE YOU!  
Jeans <3


End file.
